- pushchair √
- cot √
- more cute clothes than is reasonable for one person to own √
- push present …
… hang on – push what?
What exactly is a push present and why should you consider buying one? Read on to discover why push presents are controversial, and why we think they are a fabulous idea.
What is a push present?
A “push present” is a gift given to a woman, to celebrate the birth of a baby. The term “push present” is not terribly appealing or inclusive, as such gifts are definitely given to women who have become parents by all means: Caesarian sections, adoption and surrogacy are all included in the fun. A better phrase is a “baby bauble”, but we prefer to think of it simply as … a gift.
The push present feels like a new trend as several celebrities have recently received very expensive gifts, and not everyone approves of this.
But the concept has actually been around for a long time here in the UK. It’s the name that is new.
Push presents are usually given by the baby’s father to the mother. Traditionally an eternity ring is given, but there are no hard and fast rules. We also know of grandparents who like to buy a gift for the new mum, and a recently spoke to a couple who gave their surrogate a Thermomix. Generous, yes, but they felt it was the least she deserved after helping them have a baby they had wanted and tried for for years.
Are push presents a good idea idea?
As mentioned, the push present has had a lot of bad press recently with celebrities spending large sums on them.
The first set of reasons against push presents (“isn’t the baby enough of a reward?“, “why reward women for something they are designed to do?“) typically make the woman sound greedy, caring more about a gift than the baby. In our experience this has never been the case. Frankly, there are easier ways to get a trinket than committing to pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing!
These reasons also paint women as passively waiting for “rewards” from their men. Again, we have never seen this dynamic at play.
So, we prefer to see a push present not as a reward, but as a gift. For someone you love. Why shouldn’t you give one if you want to? In a world that is frequently full of tragic news and uncertainty, why are gift-giving, celebration and sentimentality being demonised? Surely what we need is more love, not less?
Of course gifts and material items don’t of themselves equal love, but if someone chooses to express their love with a thoughtful gift, we are all for that.
Yes, the new baby is a joy for both parents, but surely that is a good reason to mark the occasion with a gift? People buy gifts to celebrate all sorts of occasions so makes perfect sense to do so for one of most memorable events of your life. It’s a way of marking the transition to parenthood, or to celebrate another addition to your family.
It’s a way of creating memories.
The second common argument against is “I just want my man to help with the baby/ cook/ clean the house/ be there” to which we say … well of course! We don’t see that as being incompatible with a nice treat though!
In our experience, most women don’t expect a gift, but their partners want to buy them something, and take pleasure in doing so.
It’s obviously not cool to demand one.
It’s also obvious that material things will never be as important as the love and happiness your new bundle of joy brings. A healthy mum and baby are clearly the most important outcomes of childbirth.
But why choose? Why not have both? Having a gift to celebrate an amazing event does’t make the event itself less special or meaningful. In fact, if you buy something that becomes a family heirloom or tells your family story, you actually build on the meaning of the event rather than take away from it.
Remember, there is no reason why women can’t buy themselves a gift (did you know that two thirds of our customers are women?). This is actually how it all started, when our founder Susie was unable to find the perfect piece to celebrate the birth of her son.
So we say … it’s up to you! We are definitely in favour of the concept, but we don’t suggest that everyone “should” have a push present. We’re all adults who are capable of making up our own minds. If you usually enjoy giving and receiving special gifts, then don’t let the push present police make you feel bad for that choice.
How many times have you looked at a mum and thought “she deserves a medal“? Well, we think she does too!
The baby will get all the gifts and attention from now on, so we say, make the most of chance to spoil mum while you can.
If you agree, look out for the next in this series, where we will take a look at how to choose a push present.
Love, Mildred xx